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Blogs > PurplePeach72 > No Ordinary Girl! |
Spring Fever Update
Spring Fever Update Tonight there’s thunder in the sky. Just like the night you said good bye And what’s left of a heartache Runs like rain from my eyes The winds of change gonna blow it all away And its strange how you won’t matter You won’t matter anymore Fleetwood Mac “Winds of Change” April 13, 2016 It’s storming here tonight which isn’t unusual except the thunder and lighting. Back home most storms are accompanied by thunder and lightning of epic proportions. I’ve gotten so accustomed to the wind, rain storms without the sound and light show here that when we do have true thunderstorm like tonight it kind of shocks me. Like the headlights of cars passing on the walls in a city when you’ve only been out in the country for years. The weather is fitting given my and the Viking’s current disapproval with karma. I know I’ve been gone a long time so I’ll just give you the condensed version of an update so I can get on with waxing darkly. The Viking is feeling furious, betrayed and abused by his work. I won’t get into details but politics are a bitch and making the right choices doesn’t mean you get the reward for making the hard right choices and getting the job done right. No, in the end we are cogs in a giant machine run on numbers and tiny little boxes with or without figures in them. There is no consideration for good deeds and helpfulness to the community or the organization. Bottom line is the Viking didn’t get a promotion he thought was pretty much a done deal and our request to be extended here for 52 days so we can all move at the same time was denied. It is once again the Viking and his Nympho against the world. Relationship wise he and I are still working through issues. He swears he is totally devoted to me know because my willingness to stand up to him and fight for our marriage make him realize what an ass he was and how much he wanted us. I have my doubts but I’m trying to trust and move forward. My great Italian Love is no longer in love with me. Hell, maybe he never was. He’s spent the last month and a half distancing himself from me. When I finally confronted him for some answers he said that after he realized I was really leaving in Sept he just felt different like there was no future for us. The dream of forever was nice but the reality for him is he doesn’t see a future. He still loves the idea of me he fell in love with but he knows that ideal isn’t me and he’d rather leave feeling like he’s saving us both from heartache rather than admit that I’m just not the woman for him. He can’t share, not really. I’m heartbroken that he would rather cut his losses and run rather than spend the few months we have enjoying each other and figuring out if a future was possible. I miss him. His arms gave me a refuge of peace and calm that I’ve never had with anyone else. We love the same music and thrive listening to or making live rock. We always made each other smile and laugh. The sex was incredible but problematic as he always seemed to be suffering from a sex injury or some other issue. He’s struggling with back issues, tendonitis in one hand, taking care of his elderly mom and 2 grown sons in their early 20’s plus his 12 yr old in a neighboring country. I got used to us not having sex much a long time ago and for a nympho I was surprisingly perfectly ok with that. Once he stopped talking to me and making time for me I knew he was pulling away and my heart broke as I watched myself become just another woman chasing him. Not anymore. We had some things planned together and now that we’re finished with them I doubt I’ll see much of him or he of me. We’ve gone to a couple of concerts together since and he’s given me a ride to drop off the car. We are friends in the plutonic polite slowly back away until we are gone sense of friendship. I have a gorgeous new tattoo as you can see from the pics. He was the translator for that and sat with me through the 3 hours of the second sitting. He wouldn’t touch me at all so I’m not really sure why he stayed. I finally got the Boudoir Shoot edited pics back and a few of those will also be here for you. We had our first and only music session together April 8 at the same place we met. A fitting good bye, I suppose. I miss him. I miss my love, my lover and my friend. I know that if we were really all I thought to each other he wouldn’t be walking away but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. I was actively working out how to have him be a permanent part of our lives and he was plotting to escape. Lil Bit is in full on teenage bitch mode. We generally can’t stand to be in the same room unless she wants something so she watches her smart mouth and attitude until she determines whether she can get what she wants. She’s off at Jesus Spring Break camp until Sat night so I have a mommy-staycation. It’s nice to be able to know that if the house is dirty it was me because no one else is here and it stays amazingly clean! It is what it is ‘til it ain’t anymore. (Kacey Musgrove lyrics) We are in wait and see mode for what the ramifications of the extension denial will be other than slightly inconvenient once I’m here on my tourist visa. I have the process for the dogs and parrot to get back to the states and am confident it will be stressful but not difficult. We have been planning trips (the must sees before we leave Europe) and making plans for house hunting in this new place he hates. The Viking will be home for a week or so this Friday and I can’t wait to curl up with him. We both need to be wrapped in love and heal each other’s hearts. And while all these heart and soul aches are going on my daffodils, tulips and herbs blooming make me smile. The incredible Italian sunsets make me ache knowing they are numbered. The horses play and roll in the field in front of the gate. I love this house and the home it has been for us for 3 almost 4 years. These things just don’t seem like they are huge obstacles. I have this odd sense of peace of mind that it will work out. |
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Thank you so much my dear i am ,, how do you say ??? am a spirit who connects with you one day i might show you my writing ,,they ae odd some ppl say but to the point
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WOW ..amazing ..incredible pics!! thank you for sharing !!
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You had me dripping in my PJ's halfway through the story...You are fabulous...MARVELOUS PICS
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Good to see you again Sexy!! Great post!! Sweet photos!! Hope you are doing well!!
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5/5/2016 5:51 pm |
You need to live the simple life for a while, I think. And your photos are breathtaking. You look absolutely amazing, fair Peach.
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Love the ink
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Good to see you again Sexy!! Great post!! Sweet photos!! Hope you are doing well!!
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Sorry to hear about the rough times my sweet, but those photographs are certainly beautiful. Thoughts from the Garden...
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First, the photos...magnificent! I especially like the couple ones. I posted a meme on FB yesterday that seems to appropriate for most of us, especially now (I'm not sure I know anyone who is having an easy time right now): Life is a delicious agony. It can be complicated. It can brutal, beautiful, disappointing, inspiring, insensitive, radiant, rugged, delicate, tragic and majestic all in the same sentence. "Get busy living or get busy dying."- stephen king Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free. Life is a brutiful adventure. xoxo Always tell the truth Use kind words Keep your promises Giggle and laugh Be positive Love one another Always be grateful Forgiveness is mandatory Try new things Say please and thank you Say your prayers Smile ~Author unknown
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great post along with good photos
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