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This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.
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This has been a public service message for women to better understand men. I posted this several years ago, and at the urging of a few friends I am re-posting. OK NOW JUST REMEMBER, MEN ARE MY FAVORITE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD, THIS IS JUST A JOKE, I REPEAT JUST A JOKE. Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling the AAA is not an option. I will win. Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers, as a form of holy communion. Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem. Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together. Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole program looking for it...though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator...(applies to engineers mainly). Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, hunting, sex, cars, sex, tractors, sex, fishing, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask. Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too. Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the film. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't...and if you are feeling amorous afterwards...then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others. Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now? Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2014, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.... like wandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do. REMEMBER I LOVE MEN. I am who I am and I am not going to change for anyone, so don't ask!         |
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Damn it Woman! I resemble that remark!
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I WILL NEVER STOP LOVING THEM, AN BY THE WAY  Mark xxx
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Your post really does show just how much "You Love Men"......  Don't want to see the post when you stop loving us!!!! Mark xxx I am who I am and I am not going to change for anyone, so don't ask!
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Your post really does show just how much "You Love Men"...... Don't want to see the post when you stop loving us!!!! Mark xxx
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I'm either not much of a man, or I'm a very strange man... Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling the AAA is not an option. I will win. I NEVER lock myself out of cars. Decades ago, I developed a neurotic habit of not being able to lock a door without the key in my other hand. Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers, as a form of holy communion. I can fix anything. Seriously. ECUs do not concern me. Its still an internal combustion engine and I know what's wrong with it. I have tools and I have skills. Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem. When I catch a cold, I don't slow down one bit. I do what I have to, regardless. I have never laid in bed feeling sorry for myself just over a cold. I dote over my lady when SHE has a cold and let her lay around. Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. I'll get whatever is needed from the store as long as you are clear and concise about what you want. Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together. See #2. I can fix anything. No exceptions. Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole program looking for it...though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator...(applies to engineers mainly). Another neurotic habit. My remote never leaves the table next to my easy chair. Its never lost. Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, hunting, sex, cars, sex, tractors, sex, fishing, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask. This is partially true, but I'm usually pondering life or philosophy. Never sports or tractors. Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too. Guilty here... When I was married, I hated my in-laws and frequently left gift-giving ideas to my wife. Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the film. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't...and if you are feeling amorous afterwards...then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others. I actually like films that make me FEEL something other than adrenalin or a boner. Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now? Guilty as charged. Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2014, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.... like wandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do. I neither garden, nor do I drink beer. I help with all housework when asked, with the exception of cooking. You don't want to eat my cooking. Its a godam wonder I'm as healthy as I am having eaten my own cooking for the last 20 years. 
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I love it....thank you for the laughs.  ~~Anais Nin~~
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Ha ha..Ok I know this is a joke and does NOT apply to all men therefore I will try and speak(Unsolicited) for some of us. I'll give you #s 1 2 5 6 7 8 10. Howevwer 3# Not me..Other way around. #4 as a "Single" man I do my own shopping AND cooking..I can cook! #7 With this caveat..Add guitars too the list. #9 Not entirely true and I don't wanna talk about(Sniff) #11 Again "Single" not the best house keeper but hey when you do all the cooking cleaning shopping yard work / whatever..well...
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