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Do you ever wonder....
Do you ever wonder.... if people really care about you or if they are just giving you the illusion of caring so they can take advantage of your vulnerabilities? For example, I'm a certified "Pleaser" ( a shrink said so, so I guess that makes it true). I have a hard time saying "no". I think I do things to make someone else happy, even though it makes me feel "dirty" just to hear the words "good girl". Does that make me sad & weak? I put up this facade of separating my heart from my vagina and may not even remember the guys name the next day, but that's just because I'm old and memory is not so good. Yes, I do like to have fun. I do like to have sex with no strings. I swear that I won't be monogamous ever again. But that's just a shield for my heart. Deep down under many layers of brink walls there is a heart here. And that heart wants the fairy tale -- a man who thinks I'm worth the strings. Someone that wants me to be monogamous and will be monogamous to me. Maybe I'm just PMSing.... |
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