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Status
Simply_Mel 40/F
In The Sticks, Oklahoma
Put A Little Gravel In My Travel.......
Introduction
UPDATE: Read this part very slowly....are you ready????
If You Can't Stimulate Me Mentally? No Way In HELL You Will Stimulate Anything Else!!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
If you can't handle a sassy-smartass woman...
If you can't handle what life throws at you...
If you can't handle the fact my kids come before anything....
If you can't handle that I won't "give it up" on the first meet....
If you can't handle being creative and getting to know me...
If you can't handle reading my whole profile before contacting me...
THEN
Step high, Step fast and keep ona movin'!
AND for those that are thinkin' right now......
"WOW what a BITCH!!!"...
You really have no idea
-battin' eyes-
....now on to our regularly scheduled profile.
To whom it may concern:
Life it too short to be good....therefore...i'm gonna get a lil' nawty and laugh til' it hurts!!!!!
If you haven't figured it out by now...i'm a big girl...and i'm HAPPY with bein' a big girl....so you can either deal with that...or move on....your choice....and if you choose to judge?....Keep the verdict to yourself!!
I'm a very open minded and opinionated woman who is blunt to a fault.....but oh well that's just all part of my charm
If you don't want to know the answer....don't ask the question. I'm a witty smartass that is as dorky as the day is long...Laughter?..the best!!!!
I'm a woman that is many things all rolled into one...so don't assume anything until you take the time to find out what i'm all about.....On that note....anyone dare to find out all sides? -wink-
I'm a farm girl that loves her Sooners and a cold beer!! Football season is my favorite time of year!!!...How about watchin' some UFC?....Because there is just somethin' about 2 men beatin' the hell outta each other that is such a huge turn on!!! HA!
I'm a VERY involved momma of 2 gorgeous kids...that ALWAYS come before anything and everything...PERIOD!
Wanna know anything else?....all ya gotta do is ask.....i don't bite....too hard
My Ideal Person: Hmmmmmm...what am I looking for?.....Who knows.....but when he comes into sight.....I'm pretty sure I'll know.....BUT what I do know is this......he's a gentleman....he's hysterical.....he can hold a conversation.....he has his freaky side......he can deal with when I want to be aggressive and when I want cuddle time......oh yeah.....A FRIEND.....if you can be friends on a personal level....it's way easier for intimacy to fall into place.
What are your favorite musicians or bands?:
Love Gary Allen-Foo Fighters-George Strait-Daughtry-Fleetwood
Mac-Eagles-Stones and so many more.
Tell one of your favorite sexual fantasies. Don't hold back!:
I wanna fuck under a waterfall!
What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Rimming, Light Bondage, Candle Wax, Spanking, Slave/Master, Mutual Masturbation, Food Play, Participating in Erotic Photography, Voyeurism, Handcuffs/Shackles, Breast/Nipple Torture, Clamps, etc., Blindfolds, Massage
Ever fantasized about having sex with a celebrity? Who? What turns you on about them?:
Dana White..........That bald head of his....shewwwwww!!!
Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've tried it, but it's just not the same.
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Information
- 40 / female
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In The Sticks, Oklahoma, United States
Sexual Orientation:
Straight
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| Looking For: Men for Erotic Chat or Email, Discreet Relationship or Intimate Relations |
| Birthdate: | November 16, 1971 (40 years old) |
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| Travels to: | Crazy Town!, Oklahoma | ||
| Relocate?: | No | ||
| Marital Status: | Divorced | ||
| Height: | 5 ft 9 in / 175-177 cm | ||
| Body Type: | Ample | ||
| Smoking: | I'm a light/social smoker | ||
| Drinking: | I'm a light/social drinker | ||
| Drugs: | I don't use drugs | ||
| Education: | Some college | ||
| Occupation: | OMG I Have To Work?! | ||
| Race: | Caucasian | ||
| Religion: | Christian | ||
| Have Children: | Yes. We live together. | ||
| Want Children: | Happy with what I have | ||
| Bra Size: | 40 / 90 B | ||
| Speaks: | English | ||
| Hair Color: | Red/Auburn | ||
| Hair Length: | Short | ||
| Eye Color: | Brown | ||
| Glasses or Contacts: | Either | ||
| My Trophy Case: | 
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