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dont remember  

rm_daytimmer4u 62M
58 posts
12/5/2012 9:38 am
dont remember


Why we love ...





NUDITY
I was driving with my three young one warm summer

evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock,

I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat...

'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'


OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from

his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this are not necessarily those of his parents ..'


KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar..

During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old to answer the phone..

'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now...

She's hitting the bottle.


MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's

locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks,

with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.

The little boy watched in amazement and then asked...

'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'


POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school,

I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old.

Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop?

Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report.

My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police.

Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her.

'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me,

'would you please tie my shoe?'


POLICE #2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front

of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner,

Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.

'Is that a you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said ... 'What'd he do?


ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly

shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.

One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.

As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions,

she merely turned and whispered...

'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'


DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.

When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned,

'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'


DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed,

they had secured a small box and cotton batting,

then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's was chosen to say the appropriate prayers

and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought

his father always said...

'Glory be unto the Father, and unto the ,

and into the hole he goes.'

(I want this line used at my funeral!)


SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school.

'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother.

'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'


BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible.

He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.

Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible.

He picked up the object and looked at it.

What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in

between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered,

'I think it's Adam's underwear!'

Engak_Ryan 49M/44F

12/5/2012 2:29 pm

Nice Post ..I like!

Engak_


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