Today's world we live in.
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Posted:Nov 18, 2007 6:41 am
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2007 2:21 pm
1469 Views
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High School 1960 vs 2007
Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1960 - Vice principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his own shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, the FBI is called, Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors are called in to assist traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1960 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police are called, SWAT team arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. They are charged with assault and both are expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.
1960 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given a good paddling. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra state funding because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1960 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some Aspirin to school.
1960 - Mark shares Aspirin with the school principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from School for drug violations. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario: Pedro fails high-school English.
1960 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. US Civil Liberties Association files cl ass action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover Independence Day firecrackers, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.
1960 - Ants die.
2007 - Homeland Security and the FBI are called and Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario: Johnny falls during PE and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.
1960 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in federal prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.
Have a good week.
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A recent question I posed in the magazine.
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Posted:Nov 16, 2007 7:17 am
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2010 6:47 pm
1357 Views
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Have you ever been rejected?
I did check the archives, and didn't find anything.
I collect rejections. I've been turned down so often I thought it was up. The best one of my rejections was a woman from my health club. I asked if she wanted to go out, but she said she had to change the air in tires.
Just wondering what was the funnest way you got rejected, or how you rejected someone.
Well I got a better one. I received a message from someone from another site, and we emailed back and forth. She asked me for my phone number, and she called me, but I was at work, and couldn't talk at the time. I sent her an email, and she emailed me back and said she met someone. I emailed her and wished her good luck.
Some time later, I kept noticing that she was on line quite a bit, so I sent her an email asking what happened with her new relationship. She wrote telling me that they dated, but he turned out not to be a match. She remembered me, and wanted to talk, but misplaced my number. I sent it to her.
She called, we talked, seemed a little stuffy, and left it at she would call again. I got an email. She wanted to move to a warmer climate, and was looking for someone to invest in property together; she wanted to see my resume, and maybe a financial statement. I toyed with the idea of making one up, but choose to just email her back and tell her that I was not what she was looking for. Have a good weekend.
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Had to share
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Posted:Nov 14, 2007 7:13 am
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2010 6:47 pm
1474 Views
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Dear Abby,
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning and when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on m e. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job six years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and bullshit with his buddies while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me and hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?
Signed: Clueless
Dear Clueless,
Grow up and dump him. Good grief, woman. You don't need him anymore! You're a United States Senator from New York running for President of the United States . Act like one.
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Monday Musing
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Posted:Nov 12, 2007 8:13 am
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2010 6:48 pm
1508 Views
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You know those guys that do the Viagra, Levitra, and Cialus commercials; wonder if they're getting laid? What are they talking about when they're sitting in those bath tubs, or walking down the street getting all intimate? Inquisitive minds need to know.
Happy Monday.
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Sunday Morning Thoughts
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Posted:Nov 11, 2007 2:48 am
Last Updated:Jun 19, 2009 6:04 am
1540 Views
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I am sure everyone has used MS Word. Have you talked to the little paper clip guy, or noticed his expressions? Maybe he is not a guy clip! Have a nice start to your week. 
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Random Thoughts
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Posted:Nov 9, 2007 4:20 am
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 10:33 am
1383 Views
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I was thinking lying in bed, which is much easier and less dangerous than standing, as you are closer to the ceiling fan, about the two most often questions asked of me. Why have you never been married, or do you miss not having of your own. The simple answer to the first one is no. Of all my many friends and acquaintances, you can count on one hand how many of them have not gotten divorced. But oddly enough, the family tree has a good record; can�t think of maybe one, or two of my two cousins that have had bad marriages.
Don�t know what that means, but remember these are random thoughts. Now I have seen my nephew�s and friend�s grow up without having to be responsible for their up bringing. I been able to love�em, hold�em, feed�em, change their diapers, and give�em back to their parents. Maybe this rambling is about getting old. This past summer my friends oldest had a great outdoor wedding, and another of his girls will be getting married in Mexico next May. So I guess in some regard I have not missed have of my own.
I would imagine that I could suffer from commitment phobia, but I have done al right for myself. Maybe I just try and take all the good stuff from relationships. Not being with someone every day makes those romantic weekend getaways seem more obtainable, but they are not. But what do I know, pretty much nothing. Have a good weekend.
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New Years Eve
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Posted:Nov 8, 2007 5:33 am
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2010 6:49 pm
1509 Views
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With the holidays approaching, was just wondering if anyone has held a pajama party? If so, did you bother to wear them?
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Love Story
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Posted:Nov 8, 2007 4:32 am
Last Updated:Nov 29, 2007 5:36 am
1417 Views
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I will seek and find you .
I shall take you to bed and have my way with you
I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.
I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.
I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you.
And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.
All my love,
The Flu
Now, just because this is a sex site,get your mind out of the gutter and go get your flu shot!
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Birthday Stories.
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Posted:Nov 6, 2007 6:51 am
Last Updated:Nov 7, 2007 10:41 am
1407 Views
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Got this idea from reading VeryEdibleI‘s post in the magazine, as she wanted to know about your best and worst birthdays.
I was living in Sacramento, and was turning forty. I had met a woman who I had moved in with, which was a big mistake. (This could be a whole another blog) Now this woman didn’t want to do anything. I mean anything.
She didn’t want to go out for dinner, or to a move, or shopping (that should have been my first clue that she was nuts), or eat at home. All she did was get up and go to work. After the first week or so, she didn’t want sex either.
She lived on peanuts, Pepsi, and pop tarts. She organized a surprise birthday party for me. We were to meet some friends of my mind for dinner at 8:00 o’clock, and as usual she was just sitting on the couch watching TV.
I started to get annoyed, and got into a little tiff. Well we finally got to where we were going and all my friends were there, even my boss and his wife. That part was good.
They had a bunch of tables in the corner of this place, but my girlfriend invited her only girlfriend and they didn’t mingle with anyone but them selves. Coincidently some female acquaintances from my gym were present, but not for my party.
I ended up dancing and doing a little grab ass with them, and didn’t give a fuck about my girlfriend. When we got home, I received a guilty birthday blow job from her, and soon after that we broke up.
Pretty lame story.
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Monday Morning Quote
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Posted:Nov 5, 2007 5:08 am
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2010 6:49 pm
1428 Views
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This is for the ladies. A friend of mine uses this on the end of her emails.
"Sex is like snow - you never know how many inches you'll get or how long it will last"
Have a happy Monday. 
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Sunday Morning Thoughts
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Posted:Nov 4, 2007 7:53 am
Last Updated:Nov 4, 2007 8:44 am
1426 Views
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One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a
well. The animal cried piteously for hours as
the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the
well needed to be covered up anyway;
it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and
help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began
to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the
donkey realized what was happening and cried
horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he
quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally
looked down the well. He was astonished at what
he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his
back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel
dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it
off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey
stepped up over the edge of the well and
happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds
of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well
is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of
our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out
of the deepest wells just by not stopping,
never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
Free your mind from worries - Most never happen
Live simply and appreciate what you have.
Give more.
Expect less
NOW ............
Enough of that crap . . The donkey later came back,
and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him.
The gash from the bite got infected and
the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.
MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:
When you do something wrong, and try to cover
your ass, it always comes back to bite you.
You have two choices..smile and close this
page, or pass this along to someone else to
spread the fun.
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Do use the other features on this site?
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Posted:Nov 1, 2007 8:39 am
Last Updated:Nov 3, 2007 9:55 am
1449 Views
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I have stopped browsing profiles, and find myself using the other features like the magazine and groups more and more. I have more free time on my hands, and enjoy goofing around on the advice line, and writing articles. Some of the questions people come up with are truly amazing.
My irrelevant, sarcastic side frequently appears; mainly because the questions are just too stupid. Asking stuff about how do you go about having anal sex, or if you are engaged in oral sex should stop and ask if you can cum in their mouth.
Some folks get real upset if you post a joke; always bitching about "this is not the place for your post, use the joke section". I find once I look at a post, make the determination of what it is, if I don't like it, I'll move on, or just make fun of it.
So have fun everyone, hope you find what you are looking for.
p.s. Has anyone seen the recent animated video email going around about Sen. Larry Craig
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To link to this blog (wanttopamperyou2) use [blog wanttopamperyou2] in your messages.
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