Reset Password
If you've forgotten your password, you can enter your email address below. An email will then be sent with a link to set up a new password.
Cancel
Reset Link Sent
If the email is registered with our site, you will receive an email with instructions to reset your password. Password reset link sent to:
Check your email and enter the confirmation code:
Don't see the email?
  • Resend Confirmation Link
  • Start Over
Close
If you have any questions, please contact Customer Service
Wanttopamperyou
 
Welcome to my blog. My hope is for you to find me entertaining, and above all honest.
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
Scary Psychological Test
Posted:Nov 16, 2008 8:13 am
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2008 8:19 pm
1720 Views

Read this question, come up with an answer. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. No
one I know has gotten it right - including me. But I did, and
I know all of you and where you live......But not really.

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met this guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, she believed him to be her dream and she fell in love with him right there, but did not ask for his number and
no matter how hard she tried she could not find him.

A few days later she killed her sister.

Question: What is her motive in killing her sister?

Give this some thought before you answer.

I will post the answer with another post.
1 comment
Quote of the Day!
Posted:Nov 1, 2008 5:17 am
Last Updated:Nov 7, 2008 7:18 pm
1394 Views

"Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She nurtures and multiplies what is given to her.
So - if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of shit."
2 Comments
Email of the Day!
Posted:Oct 4, 2008 8:34 am
Last Updated:Dec 29, 2008 6:19 am
1583 Views

Your application to join an online dating agency has been rejected.

One of the questions was 'What do you like most in a woman?'

'My Dick' is not an appropriate answer!
2 Comments
Tuesday Humor!
Posted:Sep 30, 2008 8:27 am
Last Updated:Oct 11, 2008 6:56 pm
1714 Views

Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm together and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated with it.
When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. A dozen
babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and screaming.

Over in the corner, one baby is smiling serenely. A nurse
comes by, and to the delight of the gay fathers, she points out the happy as theirs.

'Isn't it wonderful?' one gay says to the
other. 'All these unhappy babies .... And yet
our baby is so happy. This just proves the superiority of
gay love!'

The nurse says, 'Oh sure, he's happy now, but just
watch what happens when I pull the thermometer
out of his ass.

2 Comments
Some times I Wonder about Myself: Picture #2
Posted:Sep 22, 2008 5:31 am
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2009 4:37 am
1426 Views
Just another view for the post below.
Have a nice work week.
1 comment
Some times I Wonder about Myself
Posted:Sep 21, 2008 1:34 am
Last Updated:Nov 16, 2008 1:06 pm
1857 Views
Now I have done some stupid shit in my lifetime, but I must say nothing quite like what I have done on Friday and Saturday.

Finished work on Thursday around 2 PM and headed for the gym. Work had called while I was working out; apparently they wanted me to go do a service call on my way home and when I was finished at the gym and called, it was too late. I asked if there was anything scheduled for Friday and my boss asked if I was comfortable with heights.

There was a job where a surveillance camera had to be installed on a smoke stack 150 feet from the ground. I am an low voltage electrician in Chicago. Work has been slow, and I don’t want to turn any down and have the contractor I work for get pissed and lay me off. So I’m thinking 150 feet that is not so bad, enclosed ladder, wearing a harass, climb to a catwalk, no problem. Wrong. Way Wrong.

I guess I have not come to grips with the fact I am 59 years old, and in good shape, but can’t and shouldn’t do some things any longer that I was once able to do. Didn’t really get a good nights sleep, and got there on Friday at 9:00 AM and looked at the smoke stack and said, “Fuck Me”.

On the drive to the site I’m thinking that there must be power somewhere on the stack to operate the camera; wrong again. This is when I learn that we also had to install a 4x6 solar panel with 4 car like batteries, for back up power, to run the camera.

The walk up the ladder was exhausting; I have blisters on my hands from gripping the ladder during the climb and thinking what the fuck have I gotten myself into with this job. It seemed like it took forever to climb the 150 feet to the catwalk, but once I got there it was okay. Okay now how do we get all the equipment up to me and the guy I’m working with?

They’re two of us on the stack and 4 men on the ground that had to get the camera, solar panel, tools from the ground to the roof of an adjacent building and hoist the stuff to us. No fucking way. I should know better than to think that some suits sitting in an office and thinking that this shit is easily done. Pulleys, cables, and another man on the stack and we finally got every thing up onto the catwalk, but we were running out of day light. Now the powers at be want us to finish on Saturday. Fuck, give up a nice day, one of the few remaining, with the thought of another climb?

I went, but got smart. Three guys went up, but I was ground support. The job was finished, but we don’t know if the camera works, because we couldn’t get into the office to see the monitor. It’s a good thing the suits think of everything.

I need to get laid.


2 Comments
Joke of the Day!
Posted:Aug 17, 2008 6:31 am
Last Updated:Sep 2, 2008 4:00 am
1489 Views
Model sues plastic surgeon in Mexico for not making her nipples even after a breast implant.
The doctor said, "They looked good to me!"
3 Comments
More thoughts from my cluttered mind!
Posted:Aug 9, 2008 7:03 am
Last Updated:Aug 26, 2008 3:20 am
1433 Views

Do you accept people as they are was a recent question asked in the magazine’s Advice Line and it got me thinking about an old girl friend.

I was in the process of navigating my way through my move to Sacramento and was invited for a night out from a new friend from the gym who was meeting some friends and work colleagues for some drinks. Where I was sitting I had a good look at the door and this gorgeous blonde woman with a red leather shirt and matching shoes with a sexy white top came walking toward our table, and I was hoping that she was part of the group. My prayers were answered. She had the most beautiful blue memorizing eyes I had ever seen.

It was a great evening as we all had a good time dancing and drinking. She apparently had too much to drink and wanted to take me home with her, but her girl friends wouldn’t let her, which was the correct thing to do, but I did get her number. We started to date. I was already in love with her. This is where it gets confusing. One morning over breakfast she tells me that she wants me to feel comfortable in her home, treat it as if it my own, turn on the radio if I want and put whatever station I want on and she gives me a key to her house. Here are two scenarios.

Well one day I put on the radio and she comes storming out of her room wanting to know why turned on the radio and why would I want to listen to that station?
We had a date planned and when I got there, rang the bell and she didn’t answer so I used the key. Evidently this was a big mistake on my part. You see growing up in my neighborhood nobody locked their house. We would go to our friends house knock on the door and walk in and if dinner was on the table we’d get a dish and help ourselves. Shame on me for thinking everyone grew up like I did.

This lead to a huge disagreement and I found out some things about how she had a poor family life with a controlling and non sexual abusing father and she was seeing a counselor. I wanted to try and make it work, but no amount of communicating helped and we stopping seeing one another. Some time later we ran into one another at a singles function. We talked a bit and were pleasant. I saw a woman that I had met through one of those women charity events where they bid on men for dates, had a drink and we were talking.

When all of a sudden my ex girl comes up grabs me and hustles me off to the dance floor. She ended up taking me home with her that night and we fucked our brains out; the best sex we ever had. I thought that I just got lucky and she was horny. I’m thinking that maybe I shouldn’t have let little Ceedee out think big Ceedee, but we all know who wins that argument.

We started to date again and, well, stupid me, the same shit happens and we have never spoke again. Well I don’t know what any of this has to do with the question that was asked in the AL, but see what happens when I start to think.

You all have a great weekend, and a pleasant week ahead. Speaking of head……never mind.

1 comment
The Joke of The Day!
Posted:Jul 31, 2008 2:49 am
Last Updated:Aug 4, 2008 3:08 am
1411 Views

THE INDIAN WITH ONE TESTICLE

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle,
and whose given name was 'Onestone'.

He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally
cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I
will kill them!'

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird
forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.'

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest
where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her
all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name
until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw
Onestone. She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made
love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all
the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

Why?

OH, come on... take a guess!

Think about it


You can't kill two birds with one stone!
2 Comments
E Mail of the Day!
Posted:Jul 27, 2008 10:00 am
Last Updated:Sep 2, 2008 4:00 am
1508 Views
WILLIE NELSON QUOTE

Whether or not you are a country music fan, this is truly the work of a deep thinker, and highly intelligent person.

So simple, yet so profound. Words of wisdom from that

Famous philosopher Willie Nelson , on his 75th birthday:





'I have outlived my dick.'


3 Comments
Friday Thoughts
Posted:Jul 25, 2008 6:24 am
Last Updated:Sep 2, 2008 4:01 am
1484 Views
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.'

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

But Most Of All, Remember! Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway!


Have Happy Friday and a Great Weekend.
2 Comments
A Sunday Funny For YOU!
Posted:Jul 20, 2008 9:24 am
Last Updated:Sep 2, 2008 4:01 am
1580 Views

A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'

'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.

If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.' I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.

Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'

'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.

By tying this string to the tip of our you know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.

I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'
'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon'.


Have a nice day and a pleasant week.
4 Comments
Swinging!
Posted:Jul 18, 2008 5:56 am
Last Updated:Jul 19, 2008 7:17 pm
1536 Views
I am sure this has been asked, but have you all seen Swingtown on CBS?

Is it a true depiction of the lifestyle? I don't think having been involved with woman I worked with and her boyfriend, or being with two women once qualifies me as being in the lifestyle.

In one of the episodes, the female ran into an old boyfriend. She spend some time with him while her husband was out of town working. They were all together in one scene and the ex remarked that they should go somewhere and make love, and her husband didn't need to know.

The husband stepped in and said they were a team, and they all went off to play. My question is, wouldn't that put the male off knowing that the ex wanted to fuck the woman behind his back?

Have a good weekend all.
2 Comments

To link to this blog (wanttopamperyou2) use [blog wanttopamperyou2] in your messages.

75 M
December 2011
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
        1
 
2
 
3
 
4
 
5
 
6
 
7
 
8
 
9
 
10
 
11
 
12
 
13
 
14
 
15
 
16
 
17
 
18
 
19
 
20
 
21
1
22
 
23
 
24
 
25
 
26
1
27
 
28
 
29
 
30
 
31